Choose your own adventure, but maybe try not to get stuck with an 80s-Camaro-wind-blown perm in the process.

From September’s paid-subscriber email: With the Channel 4 News Team by my side, it would not be until much later that an ounce of irony was realized.

Forever allowing our tongues to unfurl like a Looney Tunes red carpet upon spotting a heretofore missing piece.

From August’s paid-subscriber email: four little poems about summer and aging and social anxiety. Oh, and also vengeance. Always vengeance.

A dry whir, zooming and rolling and urgent, almost earthquaking, announcing a Dio and Whitney Houston and Donna Summer summer.

Overwhelming reprieve, deranged acts of stoicism, and the usual sorts of avowals one makes after a cancer scare (see also: rhinestone claw clips).