Apotheosis
Low Swank | About | All Essays | Subscribe
There are few things I distrust more than an unknown parking situation, and I insisted on leaving so early that we arrived over an hour before the reading was scheduled to start. This turned out to be a good thing. After walking through the double doors of the lobby, the ticket-checker informed us that David Sedaris was signing books before the event, and we should feel free to jump in the line forming just to our right.
He sat behind a table scattered with colored markers. Taking his time with each interaction, he drew detailed pictures on title pages while initiating diabolical conversations about this and that: a recommendation for a reality show about a British brothel, the decades that had passed "since Amy's last blow job.” To everyone's delight (and also alarm), he was more than fulfilling his own premise, and the line grew quickly behind us. …
This is a sneak peek of an essay that emailed out 11.12.2025 to paid-tier subscribers of the Low Swank newsletter. To support my writing (and get in on a good read), join the paid-tier subscriber list here.